


Here We Go Again.  (Or How RDJ Made The MCU Gay and Saved The World.)

by Aimee94, LadyNoir



Series: Mixed Realities [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Actors like to party, Also He Lies, Also they steal, Budapest, Civil War (Marvel), Civil War is an usual thing, Grand Theft Ironman, M/M, Maybe Hemsworth, Not what you think, Okoye is so done with him, Or RDJ, Paintball, Peter Parker is Precious, Shuri is our favorite Disney Princess, Superfamily (Marvel), T'Challa has Survival Instincs, This is crack, Thor Should Not Be Left Alone With Teenagers, Unicorn Barf, What Happened in Budapest, for real, just wait, not me, thor is a gift, who did it, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 13:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14749997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aimee94/pseuds/Aimee94, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNoir/pseuds/LadyNoir
Summary: The lives of our favorite heroes turned out quite differently after The Incident, as some tensions arise in the Avengers Compound, our team separates in two, which culminates in a vicious battle to the death (NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!)......also, who stole the Ironman suit?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The following story was born in the second floor of a McDonald’s at 10:48pm, while we ate chicken nugges and drank too much soda, that after dealing with a crying baby that wouldn’t stop crying or go to sleep (Not ours by the way)... and after two weeks (give or take) of procrastinating because Aimee wouldn't be her lovely self if she didn't take a lifetime to write something... like for real that woman takes forever to write something (You Owe Me A Fic Aimee, You Owe Me) 
> 
> (... Bitch 
> 
> Shut up Jerk, 
> 
> you know it's true...)
> 
>  
> 
> We’re also celebrating our graduation, so consider this a gift, from us, to you.

The Road So Far…

 

[Guitar Solo]

 

Since our dear actors visited the MCU during RDJ’s Avengers Party, life on  Earth-199999 has been quite differently. First of all, since Thor and Loki eloped to Norway, the events of the Dark World didn’t happen. They adopted a kitten, to the insistence of Loki, and called her Brunhilde. And travelled to New York every three weeks to keep in touch with the rest of the Avengers.

 

Clint and Natasha kept going on missions, it being their weird, almost suicidal, way of courtship. Tying the knot in Budapest to remember the old days (of course, said wedding was remembered differently by each part, and Clint keeps claiming that his new wife tried to poison his estranged brother… not that he minded much).

 

Stony kept strong as ever, even adopting a spider-kid when his aunt and uncle were killed by a mugger. They beat the living shit out of that mugger, of course. But their little superfamily thrived from then on. Even if they kind of argued a little, not that much but sometimes.

 

Bucky had been a nice addition to the Avengers family. The beginning had been rocky, of course, since the Winter Soldier had killed Tony’s parents, but since Tony and Steve’s relationship was healthy and didn’t lack communication, it had all been resolved and BARF was used to help the resident Manchurian Candidate. Now what nobody expected was that said candidate would find a soul sister in the resident Doctor with Anger Issues.

 

But with yoga, tea, pot brownies and weekly pedicures with Pepper, a relationship was bound to happen. Apparently, Bucky was attracted to Bruce’s calm nature, and the Hulk kind of liked ‘pretty hair man’. According to Tony, Bruce dug the whole emo kind of thing that Bucky had going on. Steve, of course thought it was adorable.

 

Since the Avengers were a happy family, and never handed the Scepter to SHIELD, because Loki kept it and managed to destroy both the mind stone and the tesseract. The Maximoff twins never got their powers. Ultron never happened and they lived happily ever after…

 

…. Until…

 

….

 

Civil War

 

 

 

 


	2. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Alex here, since Aimee posted (It was about damn time), I wanted to let you all know that yes, you're all getting a part two (Soon, we have to actually write it first) 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this part and let us know what you think about it in the comment section! 
> 
> Have a nice day!

It’s been a busy couple of months for the Avengers. Apparently, being Earth Mightiest Heroes was synonym of being the go-to people for everything out of the norm nowadays… And a super-secret and advanced country getting out of the closet to learn how to play with all the big boys in the yard (AKA Wakanda reaching out to the world), meant they had to act as the diplomatic party of the whole world… yeah, it was fun… But after all the paper work was done, it was finally time to greet the party of oversized cats in the compound.

 

So, today was the day the Avengers opened their home for the Prince and Princess of the Sovereign Nation of Wakanda… plus the two war ladies that followed them around, Okoye and Ayo. They were supposed to stay for a month, to finalize the diplomatic agreements, and so their guests could learn how was life in the US of A.

 

The Wakandan landed precisely on time, and were greeted by all the Avengers. They, as good hosts, gave them an extended tour around the facilities, starting in their rooms so they could leave their luggage, and ending in the state of the art gym, guessing they would be spending a lot of time in there (and they were right, since all of them loved the variety of machines and all the cool stuff Tony installed in there, even if the little Princess showed more interest in Tony and Bruce’s labs, immediately getting along with the resident spider-teen).

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

 

The first two weeks with the Wakandan party were great, even Thor, Loki and their cat were visiting, Brunhilde immediately took a liking to T’Challa, who apparently was a cat person. Shuri and Peter stablished a routine and even filmed their own vines, becoming the resident pranksters, aided by the God of Mischief himself. Everyone was wary of the two teens that would probably rule the world one day.

 

After week three, of course, as life is not perfect, disaster struck in The Avengers Compound.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

“Steven Grant Rogers!” Bellowed Tony as he stormed into the living room, Steve who had been watching Brooklyn 99 with T’Challa and Bucky. Was spooked by Tony’s sudden anger and looked at his husband with a confused look on his face.

 

“What happened Tony?” he asked, Tony crossed his arms and glared at him, the other avengers who were nearby were now paying attention to the duo.

 

“It’s the fifth time this week, the fifth! Not counting the past two weeks! At first, I ignored it, then it was just a little bit annoying, but I can´t ignore it anymore! We have rules in this house for a reason, we are not living in a barn and I know for fact that you were not raised in one.” Tony ranted, Steve was still clueless about what Tony was arguing with him about.

 

“But, what did I do?”

 

“You know damn well what you did, I thought we were over that Steven! I accepted it at first because you were from the forties, but that is not an excuse anymore.”

 

“Tony, I-”

 

“Don’t you Tony me, Steven, you need to stop leaving the fucking toilet lid open, is fucking disgusting!” Tony said and Steve immediately frowned.

 

“The what? Tony, I didn’t leave the toilet lid up…” he said.

 

“Steve, you did…” said Natasha going to stand next to Tony, Steve looked outraged at Natasha’s accusation.

 

“What are you talking about? Just, when?” Asked Steve, annoyed with the allegations.

 

“Well… you were the last person to use the gym, dude.” Said Rhodey, from his place on the couch, not even bothering to look up from his StarkPad.

 

“So? It could have been anyone, that doesn’t mean he did it.” Protested Clint.

 

“Are you confessing?” Asked Natasha. “That’s something right up your alley” grumbled the Russian.

 

“Hey! I did that once on our honeymoon, ONCE Tasha!”

 

“You and I remember Budapest very differently” drawled the redhead.

 

“In any case, you have no evidence that Cap is the culprit here” defended Sam, trying to reason with the incensed party.

 

“Actually, Steve is always the culprit” said Bucky, Steve looked at his friend, a betrayed look on his face.

 

“That was the end of the line pal...” deadpanned Clint, Bucky glared at the archer.

 

“Tony, I’m with Steve on this one, you can’t blame him for that without evidence” argued Bruce.

 

“Shut your whore mouth, Bruce” Snapped the genius, philanthropist, former playboy, now happily married (not so much at the moment, really) man “I’ve shared rooms with Mr. Adonis here for enough time to know some of his bad habits by now…”

 

“Alright, but I’m telling you it wasn’t me THIS time Tony, I don’t even go to the bathroom in the gym!”

 

“You sure do Captain” drawled Loki with a smirk, Thor nodded standing next to his…  brother? “I happen to know you tend to go to the bathroom there after breaking punching bags. And you broke one today…”

 

“W- Yes! But to wash my hands! Not to use the toilet!” Argued Steve. “And anyways, how do you know that?”

 

“I have my ways” Loki said ominously.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  

 

While the discussion went on, Peter, who was eating popcorn decided to remain silent, Shuri was standing next to him with an appalled look on her face as Tony assembled the ‘Tony Stark Protection Squad’ against ‘Team Capsicle’ for a match at the gym to settle the Civil War.

 

“Are they always like this?” Asked Shuri, Peter smiled.

 

“Yeap”

 

“Shouldn’t you do something to stop the fight? I mean, your parents are waging war against each other right in the middle of the Living Room.”

 

“Nah, they have a Civil War every two months. Last time it was because Bruce ate the last Nutella doughnut that Steve have been saving, and he accused Tony of eating it. That one ended pretty quickly tho’, after Bruce Hulked out… he really wanted that doughnut…”

 

“Oh, well…” Shuri looked at her brother who seemed strangely subdued and smiled, “Actually, I think that it was my brother who left the lid up”

 

“Oh! Well, it doesn’t really matter. They will settle it, and Pops and Dad will fly to the tower and spend the night there… Uncle Thor says that their sexual tension accumulates a lot, and, yeah… So, wanna see how this end?”

 

“Are you sure it’s safe?”

 

“Oh, really safe. Aunt Nat is the one in charge of keeping the wars PG-13 so, yeah, let’s go.”

 

“If you say so… Wanna bet who wins this one?”

 

“Nah, I don’t bet. Besides, Tony’s team will win this time.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“They have Thor in it…”

 

“… fair enough…”

 

With that, both teenagers left to watch the War pan out in the Gym, leaving the Crown Prince with his Royal Guard.

 

“Aren’t you going to come clean, my Prince?” Asked Okoye, smirking at T’Challa.

 

“Yes, my Prince. I can’t believe you would let our hosts to fight for something as simple as a toilet lid” said Ayo, T’Challa looked at his guards and friends.

 

“I shall not do that… at least not at the moment, I don’t have suicidal tendencies…” Said the brave Prince of Wakanda, future Black Panther and protector of his kingdom.

 

“Hehe, you’re such a scaredy cat, my Prince” Said Okoye, before leaving with Ayo to watch the war. T’Challa sighed before following… He really didn’t want to get in the middle of that…

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

Next morning…

 

T’Challa was sitting in the living room, thinking how to confess to the Avengers without making them angrier. At the end, he decided not to go to the gym the previous night; choosing to go hide in his room until the War settled, and then go to the winning side to swear loyalty to it… It wasn’t cowardice, it was strategic thinking… He knew that, he was Feline Royalty after all…

 

In any case, he was waiting for the team to appear, lost in thought, when a neon pink, yellow and purple… being… entered the room, scaring the shit out of him.

 

“Holy Bast!!” Screamed T’Challa, falling off the chair he had been seated on.

 

“Oh, hey man. Chill, it’ll wear off in a week… or two… I hope…” mumbled the colorful being.

 

“Clint?! What happened to you?!”

 

“Oh, this? You know we had a Battle to the Death yesterday, right?”

 

“Ummm…yes, but what does it has to do with your current… condition?”

 

“Yeah, it was an epic fight with paintballs, those Tiny Balls of Death flying everywhere, hitting everyone. Bucky and I were on the top as snipers; Natasha, Rhodey, Tony, Steve and Sam right in the middle, exchanging shots; Loki was using his magic to make Big-Ass Paintballs fly around (No kidding man, those were like Canon Balls, hurt like a bitch too!), until Bruce hulked out. Then it looked like we had a chance, the Big Guy catching the Big-Ass Balls and throwing them right back at them. We were winning! But then… Thor got into the fight too…”

 

“And?” Asked T’Challa, intrigued.

 

“WE WON!” Exclaimed Thor, entering the Living Room sporting blue hair (and skin), the rest of the Avengers following. Each more colorful than the last. “We showed them our mighty powers and defeated them!”

 

“Yeah Bro, it was AWESOME!” Gushed Shuri as she joined the team. One of the only people with normal colored skin in the group (along with Peter and the Dora Milaje). “We should do that back in Wakanda, it looks like a great training exercise”

 

“Yes, yes. We are awesome, I’m awesome, and we won” purred Tony. “But someone here (a really hot, tall, big and blond one… not you Thor)”

 

“Of course, friend Stark”

 

“Thank you, Thor… As I was saying, someone is not owning up to their mistakes…” he continued, looking at Steve.

 

“Because it wasn’t meee!! I swear Tony!” Protested the Captain.

 

“Actually” gulped T’Challa, standing up “I have something to confess.”

 

“Go ahead Hello Kitty, we’re all ears” sniffed Tony, crossing his arms.

 

“It was me who left the toilets lids up, not the good captain” he said, and Tony smirked.

 

“Oh, that… We knew that, Shuri told us when we went to eat pizza after the war” chirped Tony, and suddenly the genius, billionaire, philanthropist and happily married Avenger was holding a paintball gun in his hand.

 

T’Challa, Crown Prince of Wakanda, frowned when he realized that actually, everyone (Yes, including Okoye) were holding paintball guns.

 

“Get him guys” cackled Tony, and the last thing T’Challa saw was a beautiful, yet deathly, rainbow approaching him.

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

SEVERAL HOURS LATER…..

 

“Ah yes, young Spiderling, Princess Shuri, now that Steven and friend Stark have gone to the tower to rekindle their love (“Gross, Thor!”) and the others have much important things to do, I will show you how we celebrate our victories in Asgard” praised Thor, as he carried a barrel of mead to the living room.

 

“Are we allowed to do this?” asked Peter, Shuri elbowed him and smiled.

 

“Of course we are” she said, Thor beamed at them and handed the two teenagers a tall glass of mead each.

 

“By the way Princess Shuri, where’s T’Challa?” asked Thor as he drank from his tankard.

 

“I reckon he’s hiding in his room, the colors are hard to wash off and most of them clash. Tony promised me that the paint will last at least a month, so mother will get to see our art” trilled Shuri.

 

“Oh, so friend Stark used the special ammo? Clint lasted two months blue, much like one of those smurf creatures” pondered Thor. Shuri looked delighted and Peter, to take the young genius mind away from near future pranks, proposed a toast.

 

“For Friendship and the might of Asgard!” he exclaimed, lifting his cup. Thor smiled as did Shuri”

 

“Cheers!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moral of the Story: CLOSE THE FUCKING TOILET LID, DON’T BE LIKE T’CHALLA, OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES!!!
> 
>  
> 
> PS.: T’Challa spent three months looking as if a unicorn had thrown up all over him. Shuri was ecstatic, and opened a paintball field in Wakanda so her subjects could enjoy the artistic sport. The current holders of the Wakanda Paintball Cup were the Jabari tribe, as M’Baku is particularly vicious when it comes to paintball. (He says the way he gets to paint his enemies in the colors of his tribe, making them wear his colors for weeks on end it’s the purest form of art. Also, they use Ecofriendly Paint, manufactured by Stark Industries, guaranteed to last for weeks on end without harming the environment.)


End file.
